I am changing my facebook status

I have been dealing with my current/past relationship for the past few months. My so-called boyfriend that lives 6000 miles away decided to fall off of the face of the earth. Or maybe just from in front of me.
How do you deal with that. I really didn't know what to do, so I just ignored it.
Time passed and feelings went away. I am a believer in love, but at the same time I am really realistic when it comes to break ups. Without physicaly seeing eachother and no verbal communication, it is impossible to try and keep feelings residing for someone. Words are more powerful than you think they are.
That is why we avoid, and walk away from communicating when you are scared.
That is why we are scared to tell someone that you love them, or don't love them.
When your boyfriend/girlfriend lives half away around the world and isn't talking to you what would you do?
I decided to change my facebook status from "♥ in a relationship with__________" to "♥ single".
I have been wanting to do this for two months now and I tried my best not to be the rude person breaking up with someone over facebook, but it is time to do it.
I can no longer live a life like this with a big relationship status hanging over my head. A little exaturating but...
It is funny to see how we started to shape our relationships through social media.
I just overheard a conversation the other day: "He is such a jerk, he doesn't even show on his facebook status that he is in a relationship so he can still get girls!!!" Wow, what a statement. Again, I am sitting here blogging about how I don't want to do this and make it public.


I am going to be a public facebook pickel eating jerk.

Okay, maybe I wait one more day...


P.S. I really don't care to let all my facebook friends know about my relationship status anymore in the future.

Sleepless in Boise

I am a night owl.
I sleep a lot.
I stay up way late and I wake up way late.
I love to sleep but I hate to fall asleep.
I love the sun but I rather see it come up before I go to bed than seeing it come up when I wake up. I feel like my day starts when the sun goes down.
The accomplishment of staying up to see the sun come up is something that I like.
You can't stare at the sun but you can stare at the moon.

I dream so vividly.
I go on adventures every night.
I wish I was dreaming all the time.

I don't like the day time.
I rather be asleep counting sheep.

Blogging Again

I have blogs everywhere.
Most of them are half done. Just a few stories and no updates.
I think I am going to try and keep this one.
I have been writing a diary since I was 9 years old.
It must have been something I have picked up after my Father.
I haven't been able to find my old diaries in a long time.
It is as if my old memories and feelings have gotten left behind and tucked away.
I should remember how I felt, but without the words I used when I wrote my feelings down, I can't remember.
You can't feel the pain if it is healed already.
I can't remember anything.

Time has passed by before my eyes and I have just been enjoying the ride.
I feel like my body is getting older and my mind hasn't changed at all.
I used to think that I was mature, now I feel like I am immature.
They say in the Japanese culture that the soul you have when you are three will not change at the age of one-hundred.
I would like to believe that we have room to change, but we have no choice but to live with the same soul.

I am a lover and I believe in love truly.
I am not scared to get hurt for the sake of love.
The potential pain that I might encounter is not a good enough reason to avoid it.
I always have time to nourish the love for you.
I have time for school and work.
I will squeeze in my love for you between my schedule.
I will even place school and work in between the love I have for you.
Busy is not an excuse for you to not love.
It is an excuse you have when you don't love.
I will always be true to you, so please be true to me.

Christmas and Airplane Hell 2008

I was going home for Christmas for the first time since I moved to the States from Japan. It had been 5 years since I had been back for Christmas. Since I didn’t have any plans going home for a while, I decided that I would go home for about three weeks and just hang out. My plan was to eat myself silly and come back fat and happy. Some of you might think that is such a waste after 16 hours of flight time. However, it is no different than going back to Idaho Falls to be a couch potato, Japan is just a little farther away. My Father and I have a trade that we buy each other a lot of food from wherever we are coming from. On his annual visit to the States, he brings me a lot of Japanese snacks that I love. Which is consisted of seaweed, sour pickle plums and dried squid. In return, I get him peanut butter cups, starbursts and beef jerky. I thought it would be a great idea to buy a shopping cart full of American snacks and bring it over to Japan as a Christmas present. I was wrapping them up six hours before I was supposed to be at Boise Airport trying to get ready to leave the country. Yes, that is right. I didn’t start packing to go to Japan till midnight and I was supposed to be at the airport at 6:15 am.


At 3:00 am my boyfriend at the time called me up and notified me that my airplane to Portland had been canceled due to snow. In fact there had been no airplanes going to PDX or SEA in four days. I was panicing. I was on hold for about an hour and a half with my airline when I realized there was one airline that was flying out of Boise to Portland. I bought my airplane ticket two hours before the departure. To my big relief, not to miss Christmas in Japan, I left to the airport. After a 12 hour flight next to an obnoxious ice cream eating redneck, that was on his way to meet his Thai wife for the first time, I arrived to Tokyo.

The delay in PDX pushed my arrival to Tokyo and I only had 3 hours to connect to the next flight. When I say I had only 3 hours to connect, I am talking about two different airports located across Tokyo. I ran through the airport with my big pink suitcase half drunk from the airplane and I jumped on the bus hoping that I didn't have to spend a few days in Tokyo by myself. I barely made it to the other airport to find out that my airplane had been delayed due to snow. I finally made it to Sapporo after one canceled airplane and two delayed airplanes due to snow.

Feeling like I was under a lot of stress for the last 30 hours and no sleep I got rudely woken up by my 5 year old brother pouncing on me telling that Santa came at 6:00am. Confused where I was and wondering who Santa was I got out of bed with Godzilla dolls and Mothla lined up in a circle. Joe, my brother, told me that they were having a Christmas party. I came to a realization that this was our first Christmas together and figured I will play along. We opened some presents and candy and talked about Santa. He was looking for the chimney Santa crawled through in our urban apartment. I told him that the technology in Japan allows him to go through walls. This was kind of reminding me how I couldn’t figure out how Santa found me after we moved to Japan when I was a little girl. Not to mention that Japanese people really don’t carry the tradition. Santa was only coming to my house in my neighborhood. When I was a girl, I had to find out about Santa, the tooth fairy and the easter bunny in one sitting. It is hard to foul a kid when you are trying to carry an American tradition in a Japanese household. But believe me, I think I am still in shock from the sea of truth and secrets that were reveled from that transaction.